Finish this sentence: 

That which doesn’t kill me…

I talk a lot about the benefits of taking small, manageable steps towards goals. When it comes to behavior change, tiny habits and small tweaks to your routines add up to serious results over time. But there are also massive benefits to intentionally stepping out of our comfort zones and forcing ourselves to do hard things. For some people, it’s these experiences that help to create a new mindset. Overcoming challenging obstacles helps them realize a new identity.

I’m a believer that growth requires some level of discomfort and that the majority of us are capable of so much more than we realize. Tiny changes ease the change process, and in some ways makes the uncomfortable more approachable. But in other areas, we also don’t become aware of our full potential until we test our limits. Coupling small changes to our habits and routines with the occasional big, scary challenge can accelerate a shift not only from where we are today to where we want to be tomorrow, but WHO we are today, into the type of person we aspire to BECOME.

Doing hard things can help to throw gas on the flames of change, but also has a number of additional benefits:

Gaining a Sense of Accomplishment

Completing a difficult task can give individuals a sense of accomplishment and pride, which can be highly motivating in other areas of life.

Many of the ex-athletes I work with understand this implicitly. Most of them can recall experiences when they faced adversity and pushed through for the win. It is so much more rewarding to push hard for the win against a highly formidable opponent than it is to cruise to an easy victory over a lesser one. But you don’t have to be an ex-athlete to understand this concept. Most of us can appreciate the feeling of a “job well done.” Be it studying hard to ace a test or even something like finishing a long day on the job.

It's easier to make yourself proud when you push yourself hard. This is one of the reasons I love CrossFit. Every WOD (workout of the day) is hard. I am often left a sweaty, breathless mess rolling around on the floor panting at the end of a workout and I rarely ever “win”. But when I give my best effort, I feel proud and I feel accomplished. And that makes me want to come back for more.

Fostering a Growth Mindset

Embracing difficult challenges and working through them can help individuals develop a growth mindset. A growth mindset, as defined by psychologist Carol Dweck is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and learning. Dweck’s research showed that individuals with a growth mindset tend to approach challenges with greater perseverance and resilience, and view failures as opportunities for growth and learning. On the other hand, individuals with a fixed mindset see their abilities as inherent and unchangeable, and are more likely to give up in the face of challenges or difficulties. Developing a growth mindset can lead to improved academic and professional performance, as well as increased well-being and satisfaction.

It is possible to have or develop a growth mindset without doing hard things, but challenging yourself just beyond your comfort zone helps to facilitate the process. Difficult tasks often require individuals to learn new skills and knowledge, leading to personal growth and development. They also give us the opportunity to fail. If we always play it safe, we will still falter occasionally and we will still fail occasionally. Nobody is perfect. But failures tend to hurt more when we’re doing something easy than when we’re doing something hard. If you fail at something easy, it can be highly discouraging, but if you fail at something difficult, it is easier to think ‘that was a challenging task and it is normal for people to fail at it, I wonder if I can try again and do even better?’ 

As Nelson Mandela puts it: “I never lose. I either win or I learn.”

Building Resilience

When we do hard things, it makes everything else seem easier by comparison. Overcoming difficult challenges can help individuals develop mental and emotional resilience. Resilience refers to the ability to bounce back from adversity and cope with stress and challenges.

Angela Duckworth, in her book “Grit” argues that grit, or perseverance and passion for long-term goals, is the key factor in success and fulfillment. According to her research, individuals who display grit are able to overcome obstacles, maintain motivation, and achieve their goals despite setbacks.  Grit is also linked to better academic and professional outcomes as well as greater life satisfaction.

You can’t have grit without resilience. It’s difficult to have resilience without challenging yourself. By consistently taking on challenging experiences, you can train your brain to become more resilient and better equipped to handle difficulties in the future.

What’s more, when you accomplish something that was initially difficult you can boost self-esteem and self-confidence.

Be More Fun at Parties

There are zero humans in the history of the world who never faced any stress or challenges. At least that’s my assumption, and it honestly doesn’t feel like a bold statement. We all have struggles. But what if you could rub a magic lamp and ask the genie to remove all future stress and challenges from your life, would you do it? Like most genie-wishes, there would be unintended consequences. Life might be fairly pleasant, but it would also end up being incredibly boring. Your lows would never feel that low, and your highs would never feel that high. You would also be an awful storyteller at parties.

Pick a few years from your childhood. What events do you remember? Heck, what events or moments do you remember from the last year? I’d wager that everything particularly interesting came with some degree of stress/challenge.

The family vacation was more memorable when the hotel had a huge cockroach terrorizing the family, or a snowstorm so bad that it trapped you in the cabin for a few days, or that one time you left your son, Kevin, home alone during the holidays.

On the flip side, think of your highlights. Getting that big job offer. The marriage proposal. The birth of a child. Do any of these moments happen completely stress-free?

The view at the end of your hike is more stunning when you ascend multiple miles to the summit than when the hike is a gentle downhill 20-minute stroll.

As your health coach, I will serve as your sherpa helping you to reach the peak. At base camp, I will help guide you to the next base camp, and will continue to remind you of your ultimate goal. But you will take each step. You will carry your own bags. You will put in the work and in the end, you will be more confident, more resilient, and proud of what YOU have accomplished.